If you thought the saga had finally subsided between Vera Pauw and the FAI, you’d have been wrong.
The former Republic of Ireland Women’s National Team manager spoke out publicly yesterday for the first time since the organisation chose not to renew her contract for that position, in conversation with Richie Sadlier on his podcast, titled ‘Episode’, in conjunction with Second Captains.
Touching on a variety of topics surrounding the fallout of her time involved in the Ireland camp, as well as her own mental health status at that point, Pauw explained what she believes to be a “key issue” in the women’s game, one that she suggests perhaps led to her downfall.
“Narcissism in the women’s game is becoming so big that nobody cares about the coach, especially the female coach,” she says.
Due to the media frenzy around her name being listed amongst an NWSL misconduct report in December 2022, The Athletic article with fresh allegations prior to their World Cup send off game versus France and the circus surrounding her departure since, Pauw also revealed that she now believes she will now “never be appointed in the western world.”
“Not because they believe them, in football people know me, but because they don’t want the issues around me. If they appoint me, they immediately get questions,” she says.
The Dutch woman also responded to claims made by Ireland WNT centurion Diane Caldwell back in September of 2023, in which she claimed the Girls In Green’s inaugural World Cup showcase, and everything they achieved around that, was “in spite of” Pauw, rather than as a result of her work.
Republic of Ireland defender Diane Caldwell has sensationally slammed the management of Vera Pauw insisting that their historic run to a first-ever Women's World Cup was due to the players
READ MORE: https://t.co/A9U1JmISO9 pic.twitter.com/20H6xYUbsg— RTÉ Soccer (@RTEsoccer) September 18, 2023
In the podcast, Pauw describes how she was "destroyed" by these comments, especially seeing as, from her point of view, she had made every effort to pay courtesy to the Balbriggan woman.
She also outlines that it was her who had made sure the 35 year old FC Zürich player wasn’t a “a discussion point” around World Cup squad selection due to her vast experience, but that perhaps she felt aggrieved she wasn’t allocated more playing time in any of their three matches Down Under against Australia, Canada and Nigeria.
“Where in men's football would a player that is given the opportunity, who has only played so few minutes, to go to the World Cup and be part of it?” she asked, speaking to Sadlier from her home in France.
“In our conversations, all the other technical staff members wanted to put her on the table as a discussion point. I have said, 'Diane Caldwell is not a discussion point.' Niamh Fahey had a calf injury, she was still dealing with it. With us, she played all the games. I said, 'if she falls out, who do you trust, someone with almost 100 caps?
‘I would choose the one with experience. Diane Caldwell is not on the table.'
So I protected her in all sense. She hardly played, she wasn't on the table as a discussion point, and she does this to me,” Pauw says.
Although brief, Pauw did afford Caldwell an appearance in the final match against Nigeria.
“I made sure she would enter the pitch at the end of the last game. She probably had her mind set that she would play her 100th cap at the World Cup or something,” Pauw recalls.
“The fact is that staff members - plural - came to me and said, 'if Diane is not playing, we need to consider bringing her because of her attitude.' I said, 'well, we will manage. I think she's worth it, she deserves it.'
Then coming out with this...we had planned every single detail.
I was angry, I was destroyed. Probably everything that she wanted me to feel,” she concluded.
The Athletic allegations, Jonathan Hill and losing the dressing room
Richie speaks to Vera Pauw exclusively today on Episode 👇https://t.co/nm9EOXtBEH pic.twitter.com/1AbO9UEUvD— Second Captains (@SecondCaptains) April 10, 2024
[**Trigger Warning** This remainder of this piece discusses suicide, abuse allegations and rape, which some people might find disturbing.]
Vera Pauw ‘s opens up about her mental health
When asked by Sadlier, Vera Pauw detailed how she is doing since her Ireland exit.
“Not so well, that is clear,” she responds.
Going on to say that she is underdoing “very intense therapy to find enjoyment of life again”, she explains that during the course of all of this unfolding she was using sleeping pills, and even contemplated suicide.
This came up in conversation when she was casting her mind back to her wellbeing at the time that she was first facing the NWSL allegations of misconduct.
There Pauw was accused of grabbing a former staff member around the ‘neck or collarbone’ and “shamed players for their weight” when she was in charge of Houston Dash, which she vehemently denies.
That report saw her listed alongside behaviour by other coaches of a sexual and abusive nature, which would have perhaps been particularly difficult for the now 61 year old, seeing as she had just months earlier revealed she had also been raped in the 1980s.
“I didn’t know how to live anymore. And I felt I could do two things; go and find help or I kill myself,” Pauw says, describing her mental health situation after the NWSL report came out at the end of 2022.
Sadlier followed by asking if “that was a consideration?”, to which she replied that “it was not, but they were the only options.”
“I was not ready to kill myself, so I found help,” she adds.
You can listen to the full interview with Vera Pauw here.
Richie meets Vera Pauw - our exclusive interview for Episode's series two opener is out NOW https://t.co/GjOmaREWNQ pic.twitter.com/yYGZxWfk2w
— Second Captains (@SecondCaptains) April 10, 2024
